Monday, July 16, 2007

American Pie

Well I went down to the Sacred Store
Where I heard the music play before
But the man said the Music Wouldn’t Play…
---Don McLean “American Pie” (1970)
From the Good Old Boys Tavern on the 18th floor of the Executive Tower at Bhagavad Central, Beemer, R. Juna’s uncle, studies Juna gesticulating and waving his hands in the air in the parking lot to apparently no one at all.

“Look at that poor bastard Juna out there hallucinating in the mid-day sun. Who does he think he’s talking to anyway? I bet he thinks he’s in communication with the divinities. He and that little fairy monkey are going to get us into trouble Dickie, I swear, he has been loyal to the firm for so long that people associate him with Bhagavad America and I don’t like the direction he wants to go. And besides, I am the rightful heir, and nobody ever thinks about me.”

“Dad, I’ve got an idea. Let’s get him some help. We've all known friends and family who have suffered with having to deal with someone who had a mental illness. He needs help, he just does'nt know it. Religious delusions, grandiosity, he doesn't really mean to block your next corporate move. We’ll put him in therapy with Dr. Julie and that way we can get transcripts of the sessions and find out more about his delusions and visions.”

“That’s my boy! Brilliant idea Dickie…”

“Oh, and pops, I don’t think it’s going to be too tough getting him onto the couch either. He is at all an all-time frustration high. The other day I heard him muttering about wanting to give up the battle and going into retirement.”

Beemer seemed a tad bit uneasy but Dickie continued vehemently: "Crimpett and Crinkle managed to intercept some of Juna's e-mails and Dad, look at what they "discovered!" He made a single click on the laptop:

From
rjuna@bhagscape.com> Block Sender Block Domain
Date
2007/07/17 Tue PM 07:49:35 EDT
To
krishna@brahshivish.org
Subject
Bhagavad Gita, Ch. 1, verse 3

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--> or move to Move to folder ... Inbox Drafts Sent Trash
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Krishna! As I come here to shed their common blood, my members fail, my tongue dries in my mouth, a shudder thrills my body and my hair bristles with horror....nothing do I see save wail and woe. Naught of good can spring from mutual slaughter! I hate triumph and domination, wealth and ease thus sadly won. (The Song Celestial, Sir Edward Arnold)
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Purport
That's right, these two "brainiac" cousins at work in the bowels of Rival Corp., had managed to "strain" the data stream and pull out this little gem of a communication! Now Beemer's spirit turns and he feels invincible, now that it is clear that Arjuna has no will to fight this marketing battle.

Dickie is a sharp thinker, he advises Beemer to get R. Juna into therapy. You still love him, after all, he's your cousin! To boot, this is tres P.C., oh, and in case you are wondering whether there is anything in it for Beemer, well think again. Dickie had gotten into the habit of snooping through the corporate psychologist's notes taken in therapy sessions. There you have it---access to a blow by blow account of the obviously unstable ally of Krishna.

Beemer and Sons, frankly speaking are the fighting against R. Juna and Krishna, in fact against Bhagavad America in the maneuver to set up sacred superstores and to dominate the spiritual marketplace. While it is also true that Beemer and Sons were not serving Krishna anymore since they came to the States, they still belonged to the family, so Bhagavad handed down the directive to their middle management in the '60s that they would run it kind of 'good cop/bad cop' inside Bhagavad Corporate. We have all seen and well remember Cato, Inspector Clouseau's houseboy/sparring partner, well that is pretty much what the Good Ole Boys wanted. Spy vs. spy, inhouse fighting...you get what I am saying?

It's true---Rival Corp and Beemer and Sons are all working for us in Celestial Sky (tm) headquarters. It is two ways of going about one thing. The difference that makes no difference. Opposing forces are necessary and self-supporting. Beemer though not loyal to Krishna, yet helps Bhagavad to discern its central corporate values and best practices. Some of these guys are true believers (Like R. Juna)---others, the managers, Crinkleberry, Boss Hogwad don't have enough faith to butter their toast, their compassion coefficient is in the red numbers, and they are only out for themselves!

But hey, isn't that the very best description of the ideal consumer? You betya. So you play them off of one another...that is the ultimate product (tm), that is better than love, that is the marketing battle, it's the same battle raging in each of us. Man has not escaped nature and God, no matter how hard he tries to do so, and this is a good thing because man's salvation lies in nature. Culture is just the byproduct of natural evolution, of course in the case of the human being the road was marked with a few little quirks...Nothing much: Hiroshima, Iraq, the Inquisition, and let's be honest, Bhagavad America! Now back to the action and Julie K.

Ever since the late ‘90s when the workplace began to replace family and the neighborhood as the center of American life, larger companies had taken up the practice of hiring in-house therapists to counsel with their struggling employees. Well it helped to ingrain the corporate value system and get a "peek" inside their minds!

Julie K. Had trained in San Fransisco as a Jungian therapist. They were the only school of psychotherapy willing to take this Bhagavad stuff seriously. If you look at it in the sober daylight it does appear to be a mass delusion. Most professional psychologists saw Bhagavad America as a grand delusion and a cult. Granted, it is a fine edge---but Dr. Julie was at least willing to work for the firm and at a fine income I might add. A headstrong therapist with good instincts, she appeared to R. Juna as his final hope before imminent defeat.

“Yes, this is an interesting dream. Quite! And not far from the mark Mr. Juna.” Juna leans back on the floral couch and sips a golden cup of Darjeeling tea and begins to speak very slowly: “Doctor, I don’t see much point in going on like this anymore. They’re perpetrating something very dangerous. They’ve allowed Beemer and his boys to get into the crucial marketing roles up in Corporate and they want to redefine the way we market spiritual goods. It’s like a rockslide and I’m chewing the m up as fast as I can, but they are sending down even bigger boulders and I feel as though I am about to snap.”

Dr. Julie breathes deeply and asks: “Who are these people who are throwing stones at you Mr. Juna?”

“It’s upper management. Everyone admits that I am the most loyal employee. But now they are asking me to go along with Beemer’s strategy. Uncle Beemer and cousin Dickie and the whole gang of relatives have a totally different idea how to run the superstore and they are undermining my delegated authority, leaving me no room at all, leaving me nothing to do but fight. But what good can come from fighting? I mean it will demoralize the superstore.”

Dr. Julie drops her pen on the desk, smiles a knowing smile and whispers, “Lighten up! Relax. This is all very good. Fighting can only help… Tell me, are you absolutely certain of Beemer’s next move?

“I’m not proud of it and it is usually not my style but some information fell into my hands that wasn’t supposed to get there. A corporate spy informed me of the corporate party line with regard to Beemer…” Dejected, R. Juna’s voice trailed off into silence.

“Listen Ray, our time is up. Do not fear. You are doing exceedingly well. I have it on Higher Authority ™ that everything will work out. Strife after all is the basis of the free market. Therefore, fight! Improve the Bhagavad America brand name and market position! You are fighting for their minds. Your mother, Kunti, would be proud of you. Tell your brothers, the Pandistas, that they are a godsend to Bhagavad America and your fair play is acknowledged by all. And tell me what you are doing later. Why don't you meet me at the Whiskey and Rye Tavern at 6 tonight?” ”

R. Juna stood up somehow heartened, “All except Beemer.”

“Fear not, you will succeed.”
Thus ends R. Juna’s consultation with Dr. Julie K.

The Baghabucks Chuck Report
The Good Ole Boys (GOB) is an echo of Don McLean’s American Pie “Good ole boys drinking whiskey and rye…” Beemer and Sons refers to all of the affiliates of Beemer including, GOB, Rival Corps., and any characters whose names begin with the letter ‘b’: Boss Hogawad (a play on Bhagavad), Boss Jr. (Hogkin), and the cousins: Billyblab, Bobbyblue, Billybob, Bobbybill, Ballyblue, Bluelyblall, Blallblall, Bl’all Y’all. On the other hand there are the K’s K ™: Mr.K, Harry Krishna, CEO. Lillith K., Julie K., Kathy, The Lady that Sings The Blues (Don McLean). All of the K’s are manifestations of Krishna.
'K' as in Julie K. basically means that shes one of Chairman Krishna’s consorts. When she refers to Higher Authority ™ that is a transcendental code word which refers to the sublime memos through which Harry conveys the inner game into this corporately conditioned world. She needs to convey more information to R. Juna at the whiskey and Rye Taverne.
One more note: it is customary with sacred texts to have an authoritative commentary, hence Bhagabucks Chucks Chuck E. Bucks purports. I mean who has more authority than the guy with all of the bucks? More on Mr. Chuck's credentials to follow.

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